It Must be FAIR

This past week I came close to ending a mediation due to unfairness.  The high earner was the dominant personality, the low earner just wanted out of the marriage.  The deal was unfair.  Perhaps I crossed the line from a neutral, but I remember my mentor in 1982 saying “if it ain’t fair, don’t sign […]

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Why is child support so high?

This week the Dad and Mom were settling parenting time, and when we ran the child support guidelines, the Dad was anxious, saying if he paid guideline support he could not make enough money to live.  It was correct, paying the $385 per month in support would mean he could no longer meet his living […]

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Stuff! It is just stuff!

I have had a few cases recently that ended in arguments about household goods, property — the stuff we have every day. It was surprising to me that despite the costs of multiple lawyers and mediators, folks were unable to give in on used furniture items. I need to remember that it is not about […]

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Talking to the Kids

It is an awful event, to tell your kids you are divorcing their parents.  It takes courage to do it, and more courage to do it right.   First, know your kids already know there is trouble in paradise, so telling them they are right might be hurtful, but in some respects there is a […]

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What does a divorce cost?

Divorce can be a very expensive item. Competent and experienced family law attorneys regularly bill hourly from $ 175 per hour, to $ 300 per hour or more. In addition, they delegate to staff who also charge hourly. The more the argument, the more the time, the more the expense. Mediation is less expensive, but […]

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Fairness, all about fairness

Every mediation I do is about people, and I learn something everytime. This month one couple worked out an agreement that I found unfair. As you know by now, it is your divorce and your agreement. However I have made some personal decisions about fairness. If I have an issue with your agreement, I will […]

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To prepare for mediation

People call to set mediation, and ask what to do to prepare for it. When we make an appointment, I will send you the intake forms. Fill them in and return them. Sometimes it means you double check account numbers, real estate values, pay stubs, insurance quotes. But doing that ahead of time lets me […]

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Returning to work?

The divorce process means money gets tight, and stay-at-home parents (usually Mom) needs to update her employment skills.   Going through this is tough, but here can be some help.  This past week I toured the local Women’s Resource Center. Their services are free. They offer a myriad of help to the woman returning to […]

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Mediation, no more court cases

This week I reached a personal milestone, and decided I won’t be taking any more cases that require litigation. For years, I loved the courtroom, loved the adventure and the challenge. I have found that after doing mediation, I changed. Mediation is better, and more effective.

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This week was special

One of the mediation couples was particularly special this week. They had been together over 20 years, had children, and did not want their separation to ruin what remained, a friendship. After four hours they left with smiles and tears, and a full agreement. This is why I do mediation, why it is better than […]

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